When You Feel Stuck At Work
20 Nov – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog
These days, we hear a great deal about wellbeing at work.There’s workshops on resilience, posters about self-care, and managers talking about mental health awareness, but many people still find themselves in workplaces that feel anything but well.
If you’ve been feeling exhausted, anxious, or emotionally drained by your job, and no amount of mindfulness, coffee breaks, or positive thinking seems to help, then it may not be just you. It may be the environment you’re working in.
Why Some Workplaces Become Emotionally Draining
A harmful workplace isn’t always obvious. It’s not just one difficult boss or a few bad days. It’s an unsupportive work culture that gradually wears people down: where pressure never stops, communication is poor, or kindness and respect are missing.
The UK Health and Safety Executive identifies six main causes of workplace stress:
- Demands: excessive workload or long hours
- Control: little say in how you do your job
- Lack of support: little guidance or feedback
- Relationships: conflict, bullying, or isolation
- Role: Unclear expectations and/or overlapping duties
- Change: instability or poor communication.
When several of these combine, the workplace becomes an unhealthy work environment. Even if you once loved your work, you may notice Sunday-night dread, sleep difficulties, low motivation, or a loss of confidence.
When Resilience Misses the Point
Wellbeing initiatives are being promoted by many organisations today: mindfulness sessions, yoga at lunchtime, or resilience training.
These can be positive, but they often miss the root issue. Teaching employees to “cope better” doesn’t address the problem if the workplace is the problem. That is like handing someone an umbrella in a hurricane.
Moreover, research shows that wellbeing depends more on organisational culture than individual toughness. A study in 2023 showed that when workers perceived an unethical and/or unfair work environment, their mental health suffered significantly, with increased rates of stress and depression (American Psychological Association, 2023).
Neurodiversity at the Workplace
Neurodivergent individuals, such as those with ADHD, autism, or dyslexia, often bring valuable strengths to the workplace, including creativity, deep focus, and innovative problem-solving.
However, difficult or inflexible work environments can place them under a lot of stress. High sensory demands, unclear expectations, or a lack of routine can exacerbate overwhelm and reduce a person’s sense of psychological safety (Raymaker et al., 2020).
Research also shows that when workplaces fail to provide adequate support or understanding, neurodivergent employees face a higher risk of burnout and mental health difficulties (Ohl et al., 2017).
When workplaces make room for different ways of thinking and processing, it not only shows compassion but also supports healthier, more resilient teams.
How Unsupportive Workplaces Affect Our Body and Mind
Negative work environments are linked to job anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and burnout (Nisar et al., 2019). This is a reflection of what counsellors often see in practice: burnout isn’t a personal weakness. It’s a systemic problem.
Psychological research helps explain why toxic work culture can hurt us.
Loss of control
A loss of control can lead to learned helplessness, which is the belief that nothing you do will make a difference (Seligman, 1975).
Burnout
Burnout often develops gradually, especially in negative workplace environments where people feel their energy, confidence, or sense of dignity is constantly under threat.
According to the Conservation of Resources Theory, threat to resources, whether energy or dignity, evokes continued stress responses (Hobfoll, 1989).
This theory suggests that individuals aim to acquire, protect, and replenish resources to reduce psychological distress and prevent burnout. When those resources are repeatedly drained, stress and exhaustion build.
A person working in a high-pressure office where deadlines keep shifting and recognition is rare may feel they’re giving far more than they’re getting back.
Another person might experience ongoing tension because a manager regularly undermines their decisions, leaving them anxious and hypervigilant.
Over time, these repeated threats to emotional and psychological resources can wear people down, increasing the risk of burnout.
Workplace Bullying
Relational hurt, whether through exclusion, humiliation, or bullying, activates the same pain centres in the brain that are engaged during physical pain (Eisenberger & Lieberman, 2004).
Work stress also tends to “spill over” into home life, affecting sleep, relationships, and overall health (Bakker & Demerouti, 2013). Over time, these patterns can contribute to anxiety, depression, and chronic fatigue.
Bullying remains one of the most damaging yet often overlooked aspects of problematic workplaces.
It can include verbal abuse, excessive criticism, exclusion, or subtle forms of manipulation that gradually undermine a person’s confidence and sense of safety.
A large-scale meta-analysis indeed confirmed a strong association of exposure to bullying with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms (Nielsen & Einarsen, 2012).
Moreover, bullying harms not only the direct target but can also harm co-workers who witness it, spreading fear, silence and a negative dynamic across teams.
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling can offer a place to be heard and understood, and assist you to regain your sense of self and perspective.
When workplace stress brings people to counselling, they often arrive believing the did something wrong: “Maybe I’m too sensitive.” or “Maybe I just need to toughen up.”
Counselling can offering emotional support, a nrw perspective, setting healthy boundaries and guidance about next steps.
Together, counsellor and client can uncover:
- How your work is impacting wellbeing
- What’s within your control
- How to set healthy boundaries and communicate assertively
- What changes and adaptations can support you at work
- What does job satisfaction mean to you
- What a healthy work/life balance looks like
- How to rediscover your confidence
Counselling can help you understand what’s causing your stress, work through its impact, and make choices that feel healthy for you. It offers a space to slow down, make sense of your experiences, and reconnect with your confidence and values.
A Shared Responsibility
Workplace wellbeing should not be reliant on individual resilience. Employers have both a responsibility to reduce unnecessary stress. You deserve to work where you feel safe, respected, and valued.
When people speak up about burnout, bullying, and an unhealthy work culture, change becomes possible.
From Surviving to Thriving
Counselling offers a safe, confidential space to explore what’s happening and to make sense of why you might feel stuck. Together, we can look at what you need, how to advocate for yourself, and what might help reduce stress and rebuild your confidence. If you’d like to explore this further, please feel free to reach out.
References
- Bakker, A. B., & Demerouti, E. (2013). The spillover–crossover model. Work and Well-being: Wellbeing: A Complete Reference Guide, 1–26.
- Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: A common neural alarm system for physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(7), 294–300. Health and Safety Executive. (2018). Work-related stress: Overview.
- Hobfoll, S. E. (1989). Conservation of resources: A new attempt at conceptualizing stress. American Psychologist, 44(3), 513–524.
- Hoel, H., & Cooper, C. L. (2013). The negative effects of workplace bullying on individuals and organisations. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 18(1), 25–37.
- Khubchandani, J., & Price, J. H. (2023). Workplace ethical climate and employee mental health. BMC Public Health, 23(1), 1221.
- Nielsen, M. B., & Einarsen, S. (2012). Outcomes of exposure to workplace bullying: A meta-analytic review. Work & Stress, 26(4), 309–332.
- Nisar, Q. A., et al. 2019. The Impact of Toxic Workplace Environment on Employee Productivity: The Mediating Role of Workplace Depression. Sustainability 11, no. 9: 2589.
- Seligman, M. E. P. (1975). Helplessness: On depression, development, and death. Freeman.
- Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., et al. (2020). “Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew”: Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143.
- Ohl, A., Grice Sheff, M., Small, S., Nguyen, J., Paskor, K., & Zanjirian, A. (2017). Predictors of employment status among adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Work, 56(2), 345–355.
- UK Health and Safety Executive https://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/causes.htm
- American Psychological Association. (2023). Work in America survey: Work and well-being 2023.
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a consultation.