What to expect when you take that first brave step towards counselling
25 September – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog – published in Counselling Directory
Going to counselling for the first time can feel like stepping into the unknown. You’ve likely seen therapy portrayed on TV or in films, but real-life sessions are often much deeper, subtler, and more personal.
Whether you’re considering counselling or just curious about what it’s really like, here are 12 helpful insights to guide you.
1. Talking About Yourself Can Feel Strange at First, and that’s okay
Having someone really listen to you – without judgment, interruption, or expectation – can be surprisingly powerful. It might take a little while to adjust to being the focus of the conversation.
If you’re unsure where to begin, don’t worry. Your therapist is there to gently guide you.
Tip: If possible, give yourself a bit of time before and after your session. You may need space to reflect or simply decompress.
2. Therapists Listen for the ‘Music Beneath the Lyrics’
Often, the reason we seek therapy isn’t the real reason – at least, not at first glance. You might come in because of a breakup or work stress, but through the process, deeper patterns often emerge.
Therapists tune into what’s underneath the words — recurring themes, emotional undercurrents, and life-long patterns that might be holding you back.
3. Breakthroughs Are Wonderful — But Therapy Is Mostly a Process
Counselling isn’t always about “aha!” moments. While sudden insights do happen, most growth in therapy happens gradually.
You’re unpacking years of habits, beliefs, and experiences – it’s okay to take your time.
Journaling after sessions can help you notice progress and deepen your self-reflection.
4. Therapy Isn’t Always Comfortable – And That’s Part of the Work
Sometimes therapy can feel tough. You might explore difficult emotions, revisit old wounds, or come up against uncomfortable truths.
This discomfort can be part of real growth. Therapists will support you through it — with compassion and honesty.
5. Setting Goals Can Be Helpful
You might arrive at counselling with a clear issue you want to work on – or maybe things feel unclear. Either is fine.
Your therapist will help you explore and define goals over time. Having a sense of direction, even if it shifts, can help you feel anchored in the process.
6. You Don’t Need a “Big Trauma” to Come to Therapy
Counselling isn’t just for crises. People come for all sorts of reasons – wanting better relationships, navigating life transitions, improving self-esteem, or just to better understand themselves.
Think of therapy like going to the gym, but for your mental and emotional health.
7. You Might Feel Challenged – Even Frustrated – At Times
Your therapist won’t always agree with you – and that’s a good thing. Part of their role is to gently challenge unhelpful patterns or bring attention to blind spots.
At times, this can feel uncomfortable – even annoying. But these moments often lead to the most powerful shifts.
8. Worried About Whether Your Therapist Likes You? You’re Not Alone
It’s common to wonder what your therapist thinks of you. Vulnerability can bring out that worry.
But here’s the truth: what often makes us feel unlovable is exactly what makes us human – and deeply connectable. When you show up as your full self, that’s when the real work – and healing – begins.
9. You’ll Probably Laugh, Too
Therapy isn’t always heavy. In fact, laughter can be a vital part of the process.
Shared humour builds connection, offers relief, and helps you feel more like yourself. It’s a reminder that even in challenging times, there can still be moments of joy.
10. Sessions Have a Rhythm – And Your Therapist Is Keeping Track
You might notice your therapist glancing at the clock. This isn’t boredom – it’s part of the pacing.
Therapists aim to ensure sessions end on a note that feels contained. This means there’s often a natural wind-down after more emotional parts of the session.
11. Your Therapist Will Check In With You
Therapy is collaborative. Your therapist wants to know how it’s going for you – what’s helping, what isn’t, and how your goals are evolving.
Don’t hesitate to share feedback. Open conversations like these help shape your sessions to suit your needs.
12. It’s a Safe Space to Try New Ways of Being
Struggle with setting boundaries? Find it hard to speak up? Therapy gives you a space to try new ways of communicating and relating.
It can become a kind of “laboratory” where you experiment with changes in a safe, supportive environment — and then bring those changes into your wider life.
Ready to Explore Counselling?
Whether you’re feeling stuck, curious, or ready for change, counselling can be a powerful and empowering experience. It’s a space just for you – to be seen, heard, and supported as you grow.
Interested in finding out more and booking an initial session? I’d be happy to hear from you. Please get in touch.
References
- Kemmerzehl, K., 2025. 12 useful things to know about counselling. Counselling Directory.
- Yalom, Irvin (2009). The gift of therapy. HarperCollins.
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a consultation.