The Client’s Perspective
19 Sept – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog
Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be in therapy as a client? I have been there myself.
When I was training to become a counsellor, attending therapy was part of the course. At first, it felt daunting. Sharing personal experiences with another person can be intimidating, even vulnerable. But over time, it became one of the most meaningful parts of my journey.
Being in therapy helped me understand, in a way no textbook ever could, what it feels like to sit in the client’s chair. The hesitation, the awkward silences, the relief when someone truly listens, and those small moments of insight that feel like tiny triumphs. Experiencing this first-hand made me more compassionate, grounded, and attuned when I’m with my clients.
Why Therapy Matters
Therapy is about more than talking. It’s about being seen, understood, and supported. It provides a space to explore your emotions, notice patterns, and reflect on experiences that can be hard to face alone.
Even small shifts in perspective, such as noticing a habit, experimenting with a new response, or seeing yourself differently, can ripple into real change (Yalom, 2009).
You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Feeling stuck, navigating life transitions, exploring neurodiversity, questioning your relationships, or simply wanting to understand yourself better are all valid reasons to come.
Therapy can be thought of as an emotional health check-up: a dedicated space to pause, process, and care for yourself (Frankl, 1959).
You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis
Many people think they must wait for a crisis to come to therapy, but that’s not true. Feeling stuck, questioning life choices, navigating relationships, or just noticing that something feels off are all valid reasons to seek support. Therapy can be like a regular health check-up for your mind and emotions (Frankl, 1959).
It’s a space to slow down, to notice your patterns, to reflect on your feelings, and to explore what matters most to you without judgment. And often, just that simple space can make a difference.
Update Your Story
When we come to therapy, we bring our story, the version of ourselves we carry in our minds. Sometimes that story is weighted with beliefs like “I’m not enough,” “I can’t trust anyone,” “Nothing will ever work out for me,” or “I’m unlovable” (Yalom, 2009).
These stories often shape how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world, and we may not even realise how much they influence our choices. Therapy helps you notice these narratives and see them from different perspectives.
A therapist can hold up the mirror, helping you notice patterns you might take for granted, gently question unhelpful beliefs, and explore new ways of seeing things. Sometimes it’s about tracing where these stories came from, sometimes it’s about noticing how they show up in your relationships or everyday life (Gottlieb, 2019).
Even small insights can feel surprisingly freeing. Realising that your thoughts, feelings, and reactions aren’t fixed and that you have some choice in how you respond can open the door to change (Yalom, 2009).
Even subtle shifts, such as a pause before reacting, a moment of self-kindness, a new way of seeing a situation, can ripple outwards.
Therapy isn’t about erasing your story. It’s about honouring your experiences while gently letting go of the parts that no longer serve you.
Over time, these small moments of reflection build confidence, help you feel more in control of your story, and support real, meaningful change.
A Space to be heard
The relationship and connection between therapist and client is often more important than credentials and is highly correlated with therapy improvement (Yalom, 2012).
What matters most is whether you feel heard and understood. In those moments, therapy gives us a space to be seen, to process, to reflect, and to recalibrate.
During counselling, we can begin to notice our own patterns, the ways we avoid pain, protect ourselves, react under stress, or relate to others.
Being in therapy yourself, as Lori Gottlieb discovered, can also show you what it feels like to be held with curiosity and care, and how transformative that experience can be (Gottlieb, 2019).
It’s a place to be human and a reminder that healing is a continuous journey, not a fixed destination.
An emotional health check-up
You don’t need to be in crisis to come to therapy. Feeling stuck, uncertain, less hopeful or experiencing difficult emotions, such as loss, doubts, life changes, relationship challenges, or issues related to neurodiversity can all be valid reasons to reach out. Even a general sense that something feels off is enough to make space for yourself in therapy.
Counselling can be viewed like a regular health check-up: just as we visit our GP to maintain our physical health, therapy can help maintain our emotional and mental health.
It gives you time and space with no disruptions to slow down to talk about what is important to you, access your feelings, and process them in a way that regular life doesn’t always allow.
Therapy helps you connect more deeply with yourself and others
Therapy at any age can help us to relate more compassionately to ourselves and to those around us.
Often, people feel like they’re trapped or stuck. It’s true that we can’t control others, but by changing our own behaviour and our attitude, we have influence (Frankl, 1959). It’s a bit like dancing. If you do different dance steps, others will have to do different dance steps as well.
Therapy helps you connect more compassionately with yourself, and in turn, with others. It’s not about controlling anyone else. It’s about noticing what you bring to your own life and relationships.
Therapy is more than insight, it’s also action. It makes a difference what you do with that insight in your life. By seeing life more clearly, we can identify obstacles that are holding us back, improve our relationships, and make meaningful changes that align with our goals and values.
Learning to be kind to yourself
Even as a therapist, being in therapy can be eye-opening. It helps you notice patterns, vulnerabilities, and the ways you might hold yourself to impossible standards. Therapy can gently guide you toward self-compassion, helping you treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer to others (Gottlieb, 2019).
Over time, this can replace harsh self-criticism with acceptance and empathy, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges and care for yourself with patience and warmth.
Therapy is about growing
Therapy isn’t just about feeling better in the moment. It’s about learning more about yourself, discovering what matters to you, and finding ways to move forward. Sometimes sessions can feel challenging, but that discomfort often signals the places where growth is happening.
Being in the therapeutic space, whether as a client or a therapist, reminds us what it means to be human, with all our struggles, hopes, and strengths. Some people come for just a few sessions, while others stay longer than they ever expected, uncovering insights and self-understanding along the way.
The goal isn’t always happiness. It can be meaning, connection, fulfilment, or simply feeling more alive. Recognising your struggles as part of the shared human experience can help you cultivate self-compassion and patience for yourself and others.
Whatever brings you to therapy, it can give you the space to explore, reflect, and take steps toward the life you want. From my experience sitting in both chairs, being truly seen and heard can open up a space to breathe, reflect, and move forward.
If you’d like to explore therapy, you’re very welcome to get in touch.
References
- Gottlieb, Lori (2019). Maybe you should talk to someone: A therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
- Yalom, I. D. (2009). The gift of therapy: Reflections on being a therapist. Harper Perennial.
- Frankl, Viktor (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
- Rogers, C. R., & Stevens, B. (1967). Person to person: The problem of being human. Real People Press
- Yalom, I. D. (2012). Yalom Q&A. GW Magazine. https://magazine.gwu.edu/yalom-qa
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a consultation.