27 Oct – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog
As we think about life’s challenges, why is it that we struggle so much at times?
And how do we find persistent motivation to learn and succeed, despite all the obstacles we have to face?
In those moments, we often wonder: How do I keep going? Where do I find the strength and motivation to move forward despite the obstacles in my path?
The truth is, motivation is not just about willpower. It’s connected to the way we see ourselves, the stories we tell, and the meaning we create from our experiences.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Most success stories involve overcoming disappointment and adversity. Every one of us carries a story about who we are.
Our self narrative, the ongoing story we tell ourselves about our lives, our struggles, and our strengths, is what psychologist Dan McAdams (2006) calls a self-narrative. The self-narrative is the story of the self-concept over time. It helps us to make sense of who we are as a person, what our weaknesses but also our strengths are.
Our self-narrative shapes how we see challenges:
- Do we view setbacks as proof that we’re not capable, or as lessons that can help us grow?
- Do we believe we are powerless, or do we see ourselves as resilient, able to rise again?
McAdams even described a type of self-narrative called the redemptive self – a story where struggles are reframed as meaningful, where obstacles become opportunities not only to grow but to help others.
What story do you tell yourself about your ability to find motivation and to overcome obstacles? So, a gentle reflection for you: What story are you telling yourself about your ability to overcome challenges? And how might that story shift if you gave yourself more compassion, patience, and hope?
Understanding Motivation in Everyday Life
In everyday conversation, we often refer to motivation with terms like drive, instinct, energy, purpose, goal, intensity, perseverance, desire, want, and need.
On the other hand, we don’t think much about motivation when people act as we expect: getting up in the morning, stopping for red lights, greeting their friends, picking up their children from school, talking to their partner or preparing a meal.
Motivation can feel different depending on where we are in life:
- As a student, it might mean finding the energy to study when you’d rather rest.
- In midlife, it could be about rekindling joy through hobbies, sports, learning a new skill or even starting a new career.
- Later in life, it might take the form of nurturing wisdom, relationships, or creativity.
Sometimes, people begin counselling because they’re seeking this to understand themselves better and find the motivation to make meaningful changes.
Where Does Motivation Come From?
The concept of motivation refers to all the processes involved in sensing a need or desire, activating and selecting, directing, and sustaining behaviour aimed at meeting the need and reducing the sensation. For example, on a warm day, you feel thirsty. That feeling of thirst prompts you to drink something, and the thirst diminishes.
However, many of our motives involve a complex combination of biological and psychological needs, especially those involving our social interactions, emotions, and goals. Motivation can be the driving force that keeps us moving through heartbreak, loss, or personal struggle.
Intrinsic motivation
Sometimes great achievements come from people in a state of flow. Intrinsically motivated people pursue ideas, topics or goals in which they are deeply interested. People achieve this state of mind when absorbed by some problem or activity that makes them lose track of time and become oblivious
to events around them. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1998) calls this special state of mind flow.
What is the link with studying and learning? If you find yourself lacking in motivation, the extrinsic promise of e.g. good grades, more physical strength, a better job or relationships may not be enough to prod you to become active and begin the necessary steps to reach your goals.
You may, however, be able to trick yourself into developing intrinsic motivation and flow by posing this question: What do people who are specialists or are successful in this area of their life do? You can try to discover what solutions have been proposed. In this way, you will share the mindset of those who have already reached your goal.
And who knows? Perhaps you will become fascinated too.
Is there a psychological theory that accounts for all of human motivation?
Theories of motivation, from Freud to Maslow to more modern psychologists, all highlight different influences:
- Biological needs: our instincts, drives, and survival needs.
- Psychological needs: our goals, values, self-image, and relationships.
- Humanistic perspectives: our desire for growth, purpose, and self-actualization.
- Existential perspectives: our search for meaning, even in suffering (as Viktor Frankl so powerfully wrote).
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
Maslow attempted to explain the priorities in which human motives appear, suggesting that when the deficiency needs are met, such as physiological needs (e.g. hunger) or the need for safety and security, a person is more likely to pursue self-actualisation (e.g. hobbies, romance). Critics have pointed out that there are exceptions to the hierarchy and needs can be fluid.
None of these theories alone explains everything. Nowadays cultural influences on personality as well as an awareness of gender differences are in the focus as well and trying to explain our tendency to stay motivated.
Many factors and theories help us to get a better understanding of what drives and motivates us. They remind us that motivation is both human and personal.
Personality, Motivation, Resilience, and the Human Spirit
Personality consists of all the psychological qualities and processes that bring continuity to an individual’s behaviour at different times and across different situations, also described as the thread of consistency that runs through our lives (Cervone & Shoda, 1999).
In some respects, we are all alike in certain ways, a shared aspect of our humanness. We generally prefer pleasure to pain, get excited at times, are bored by sameness, seek meaning in our lives, and often judge ourselves by the standards set by the behaviour of others.
But beyond obvious similarities, we are also unique individuals. There are really not any two people exactly alike, not even identical twins. So personality is also the psychology of individual differences.
Our environment has an influence, but often, our courage and determination arise also from internal traits – from our values, attitudes, work habits, self-reinforcing tendencies, our self-narrative, as well as from our courage, resilience, and the small steps we take toward change.
Sometimes, motivation grows out of external encouragement. At other times, it arises from within. Both nature and nurture, our inner qualities and our lived experiences, play a role.
Motivation as a Path Toward Meaning
Motivation is the desire to act in service of a goal and is one of the driving factors behind human behaviour. At its heart, it is about movement, moving toward something that matters. Motivation helps us sustain hope in difficult times, and find energy in the ordinary. As a driving force, it helps us to continue striving toward meaning, purpose, and a life worth living.
Motivation is not about being endlessly productive or perfect. It’s about finding the spark that keeps you connected to your goals, your values, and your unique vision of a life worth living. If you feel stuck or uncertain about your motivation, know that you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Counselling can provide a space to explore what drives you, what holds you back, and how you can move toward the life you want with greater clarity and self-compassion.
References
- Cervone, D., & Shoda, Y. (1999). Beyond traits in the study of personality coherence. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8, 27–32.
- Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1998). Finding flow. New York: Basic Books.
- Maslow, A. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50, 370–396. Retrieved from http://psychclassics. yorku.ca/Maslow/motivation.htm.
- Frankl, V. (1959/2014). Man’s search for meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.
- McAdams, D. P. (2006). The redemptive self: Stories Americans live by. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
- Myers, D. A. (2018). Myers’ psychology for AP (3rd ed.). Worth.
- Zimbardo, P. G., McCann Hamilton, V., & Johnson, R. L. (2014). Psychology: Core concepts (7th ed.). Pearson Education Limited.
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a consultation.