Understanding and supporting yourself
7 Nov – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog – published in Counselling Directory
Living as a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical-dominated world is both exciting and challenging. For many, life brings a double layer of anxiety: natural, protective anxiety that helps to respond to challenge, and more persistent, overwhelming anxiety from navigating a world that isn’t built for one’s brain.
It is most clear in autistic individuals or individuals with ADHD, who may develop “primary” anxiety disorders and also “secondary” anxiety due to everyday difficulties.
ADHD and anxiety
ADHD is a neurodivergent condition characterised by differences in how the brain controls attention, regulates impulses, and modulates activity.
Common challenges faced by adults and young people with ADHD revolve around issues regarding focus, planning, and time or organisation.
Such variations in the functioning of the brain are organic, but they can be stressful for the person concerned, especially in trying to live up to the expectations of society.
Studies also show that up to 50% of adults who have been diagnosed with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder (Quenneville et al., 2022).
Daily life can start to become unpredictable for individuals with ADHD. Issues such as time blindness, restlessness, and problems with executive functioning lead to missed deadlines, appointments, and procrastination.
Over longer terms, individuals with ADHD can face problems at work, school, and in interpersonal relationships, often affecting one’s self-esteem.
In the long run, such chronic stress can grow into anxiety, creating a vicious cycle where ADHD symptoms fuel anxious feelings, which in turn exacerbate difficulties with focus and planning.
Managing anxiety when you have ADHD
To support yourself with ADHD, it’s helpful to know how your brain functions, have practical resources that support you, and learn tactics to help manage anxiety.
Therapy can be a good opportunity to identify patterns that heighten worry, while providing support in accepting yourself and helping you create an environment that works for you.
Using calendars, reminders, and structured routines to reduce mental load helps alleviate stress. On top of regular exercise, such as walking, deep breathing, and relaxation techniques could improve focus and calm the nervous system (Mehren et al., 2020).
Anxiety and autism
Anxiety within autistic individuals is no less complex, with the added compounding factors of differences in social communication, sensory sensitivities, and societal expectations.
There has been evidence to indicate that autistic adults are at a higher risk than the general population, developing anxiety at an approximate rate of 20% compared with 9% in neurotypical adults (Nimmo-Smith et al., 2020).
Anxiety may develop from difficulties encountered in daily living, interpreting social signals, or pressures to be like neurotypical peers.
Getting an autism diagnosis later in life is often described as both liberating and overwhelming. Most people go through a period of reflection on how things used to be, with some sadness about the misunderstanding of early life, while still learning how to live authentically in the here and now.
The supports used to manage sensory overload, allowing self-expression and opportunities to thrive within an environment, are highly valued by many autistic people, whether formally diagnosed or self-identified.
Anxiety in autistic people may take physical, cognitive, and emotional forms. Physiological stress responses can be incurred by sensory overloads, while social uncertainty may create rumination and excessive worry.
Effective coping strategies can be predefined routines, sensory tools, having time and space to decompress, and mindfulness practices tailored to meet personal needs (Ghanouni & Quirke, 2022).
Neurodivergent anxiety: An experience apart
Neurodivergent anxiety often arises at the interplay of brain differences and social demands.
Autistic people or individuals with ADHD may exhibit “secondary anxiety” because they have to make accommodations in a neurotypical world.
This is different from primary anxiety disorders, which perhaps arise through genetic or neurochemical factors. Both forms of anxiety are valid and can have considerable impacts on daily life.
How anxiety manifests
Anxiety is felt through the body, mind, and emotions. From a physiological viewpoint, neurodiverse individuals may spend more time in a sympathetic-dominant state, which for many, feels like being “on edge” at all times.
Relaxation strategies, like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or guided meditation, that support the parasympathetic nervous system engage and bring things into balance. Such techniques allow the body to signal safety and decrease chronic stress responses.
Anxiety arises cognitively as rumination, worry, or being immersed in a thought or belief. Mindfulness-based approaches, grounding strategies, or allocated periods of worry allow space between thought and experience, allowing for clearer decision-making and emotional regulation to take place.
In social and emotional terms, anxiety may be fed by feelings of misunderstanding, judgment, or in some way not being in step with the expectations of others.
Many neurodiverse individuals spend years “masking”- behaviours put into place to fit in. This is tiring and adding to one’s anxiety. Building on self-acceptance, finding neurodivergent-affirming support, and connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can help reduce this stress and build resilience.
Therapy as a supportive space
Anxiety as a neurodivergent person does not need to be an everyday battle, and the first step in achieving this is understanding one’s unique needs and recognising how these interface with anxiety. Counselling can provide a non-judgemental and warm space to explore challenges.
Person-centred therapy encourages self-awareness, self-compassion, and empowerment to explore one’s emotions without judgment.
Existential therapy adds the layer of meaning, choice, and authenticity that helps the client live a life congruent with their values despite pressurising elements around them.
Transactional Analysis can further help bring about clarity by identifying patterns in relationships and communication that add to stress and anxiety.
Other practical strategies include:
- Executive functioning supports: Outsource memory and organisation through the utilisation of calendars, alarms, lists, colour coding, and structured routines.
- Sensory management: Being mindful of one’s sensory preferences, creating comfortable environments, and allowing space for unmasking. These may include relaxation techniques such as breathwork, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and grounding exercises.
- Physical activity: Doing enjoyable exercises improves focus, reduces anxiety, and enhances well-being.
- Social support: Seeking peer networks, supportive therapists, or interest-based communities to reduce feelings of isolation and affirm identity.
Of equal importance will be distinguishing the anxiety due to neurodivergence from co-occurring anxiety disorders. Some benefit from therapy alone, while others find that medications are useful in managing either the symptoms of ADHD or those of anxiety with professional guidance ( Quenneville et al., 2022).
Embracing neurodiversity
Neurodiversity is about appreciating the natural variation that exists within human minds.
With those variations come an assortment of strengths, challenges, perspectives, and creativity.
By embracing neurodiversity in ourselves and in society, we will support less stigma, more inclusion, and create environments where everyone can truly thrive.
Support, in cases of anxiety interrelated to neurodivergence, should be aimed at more than the reduction of symptoms. It’s about empowerment, understanding, and living authentically.
Through compassionate therapy, practical strategies, and supportive communities, adults and young people can navigate anxiety, embrace their neurodivergent minds, and find their full potential. If you’re curious how counselling might support you, please feel free to reach out.
References
- Kemmerzehl, K. (2025). Neurodiversity and anxiety: Understanding and supporting yourself. Counselling Directory.
- Ghanouni, P., & Quirke, S. (2022). Resilience and coping strategies in adults with autism spectrum disorder. J Autism Dev Disord.
- Mehren, A., Reichert, M., Coghill, D., Müller, H.H.O., Braun, N., & Philipsen, A. (2020). Physical exercise in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – evidence and implications for the treatment of borderline personality disorder. Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul, 7:1.
- Nimmo-Smith, V., Heuvelman, H., Dalman, C., Lundberg, M., Idring, S., Carpenter, P., Magnusson, C., & Rai, D. (2020). Anxiety disorders in adults with autism spectrum disorder: A population-based study. J Autism Dev Disord, 50(1), 308–318.
- Quenneville, A.F., Kalogeropoulou, E., Nicastro, R., Weibel, S., & Chanut, F. (2022). Anxiety disorders in adult ADHD: A frequent comorbidity and a risk factor for externalizing problems. Psychiatry Res, 310, 114423.
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a consultation.