24 September – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog
It’s easy to feel stuck in life. Between responsibilities, self-doubt, and the constant pull to keep up, many of us find ourselves wondering if we’re doing enough – or if we’re even moving at all. Feeling stuck isn’t a flaw, it’s part of the human experience.
Therapy may not provide quick answers, but it does provide a gift: a moment to breathe, to feel recognised, and to begin untangling what has felt overwhelming inside.
Here are some of the ways therapy can help us see ourselves, and our lives, differently.
Listening to Ourselves More Closely
Sometimes the first step in getting unstuck is simply checking in: ‘Am I coping well?’, ‘Am I constantly fatigued?’, ‘Am I eating, resting, connecting?’, ‘Am I dreading work or relationships?’
Small questions like these create space for honesty. They remind us that emotional health matters just as much as physical health.
Just as we’d see a doctor when something feels off in our body, it’s okay to seek support when something feels off inside.
Unlearning the Stories That Hold Us Back
So much of therapy is about getting to know yourself. But what many people don’t expect is that it’s also about unknowing yourself – letting go of the limiting stories you’ve carried for years. What stories have you noticed you’re telling yourself?
Stories like:
- I have to take care of everyone else.
- If I say no, I’ll disappoint people.
- I’ll never be enough.
These beliefs can feel like truth, but often they’re old scripts we’ve outgrown. Therapy asks: What if I didn’t have to live by this script anymore? What would I choose instead?
Imposter Syndrome and the Pressure to Be “Enough”
Many people arrive in therapy carrying imposter syndrome, the fear that they aren’t really qualified, talented, or deserving.
It’s common, especially early in careers or during transitions. Therapy helps reframe this: we are all learners, at every stage of life. Asking questions, seeking mentorship, and allowing ourselves to grow are signs of strength, not weakness.
When the pressure to “prove yourself” softens, work and relationships become less about performance and more about connection.
The Ever-Changing Balance
There’s no universal formula for balance. It shifts with seasons, responsibilities, and needs. It is not always helpful to of compare yourself to colleagues or friends.
Rather, I would encourage you to ask ‘what kind of balance do I want or need right now?’ The answer will change, and that’s okay.
Seeing Our Blind Spots
Everyone has blind spots, ways of holding us back without even realizing it. Therapy same rings true for therapists. We are also a work in progress. But without this humanity, we would be useless to our clients.
As a therapist, I hold up a mirror to people and say, “Let’s look at your reflection. Let’s look at how you might be getting in your own way.”
I can see other people’s blind spots more clearly because I have the vantage point of being outside their lives. From the outside, it’s often easier to see the habits and narratives that keep us looping back to the same struggles.
Everyone’s problems are important.
There is no hierarchy of pain. Suffering should not be ranked, as pain is not a contest. Your pain doesn’t have to be the ‘worst’ to matter. It matters because it’s yours.
Beneath our worries are essential questions: How do I feel safe in a world of uncertainty? How do I connect?
Every moment matters, and we cannot lead fulfilling lives by diminishing our pain. We don’t need to apologise for our pain by saying, “I’m sorry,” as if our suffering requires an apology.
In therapy, slowing down allows us to listen to those layers. Feelings aren’t inconveniences to be suppressed. They’re signposts pointing us toward what matters most.
Beneath the Surface of Our Feelings
The issues people present often stem from deeper struggles, linked to how they relate to themselves and others.
Many carry flawed narratives like “I’m unlovable”, “Nothing ever works out for me” or “I’m not the problem, my partner/parent/child is the problem.”
We can focus on these stories, and exploring the emotions beneath the surface. Anger, sadness, worry – our emotions are rarely the whole story. Beneath them often lie softer truths: fear, longing, the need for safety or connection.
In doing so, I’m listening for the music under the lyrics. What’s going on underneath the issues that has led to the current situation, and how can I help you change that?
Why Change Feels Hard
Even positive change requires letting go of what’s familiar. That loss of a familiar old role, identity, comfort, can make us resist the very thing we long for.
Therapy provides space for that grief, so change feels less like a leap and more like a series of steps.
Learning to Show Up as Ourselves
Some people come to therapy worried about being likable, interesting, or entertaining. But therapy isn’t about exciting stories or ‘fixing’ who you are.
It’s about showing up as your most human self – uncertain, messy, real. That’s where connection happens. When we stop performing, we allow ourselves to be seen.
It’s about finding steadier ground within yourself. Sometimes that looks like noticing your feelings instead of dismissing them.
Sometimes it’s choosing ‘good enough’ over perfection. Often it’s discovering that peace isn’t the absence of difficulty, but the ability to breathe within it.
A Gentle Conclusion
Therapy is a space where you don’t have to hold everything together. You don’t need to prove your pain is valid, or arrive with all the right words. You don’t need to be in crisis to seek counselling. Here, new perspectives can take root, and the smallest steps forward can change your story. The truth is: you are worth the care.
References
- Benefits of therapy https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-therapy#takeaway
- What are the benefits of counselling?
- Wallin, D. J. (2007). Attachment in psychotherapy. The Guilford Press.
Katrin Kemmerzehl
I am a qualified Psychotherapeutic Counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’re interested in arranging a session.