AuDHD, Autism and ADHD at Work: Burnout, Stress and Finding What Fits

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Why does work feel so hard?

28 Sept – written by Katrin Kemmerzehl – Blog

Maybe you can do the work. That’s what makes it so confusing. You might be good at your job, have qualifications and plenty of experience, and still find yourself exhausted by the time you finish for the day.

Perhaps you can manage at work, but there’s very little left for keeping up with your day-to-day life: cooking, family life, seeing friends, hobbies, or simply having some time to yourself.

For some people with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD , work can be tiring in ways that aren’t always obvious to other people. It might be the hours, the noise, the constant social interaction, or being around people all day.

It might be the meetings, the small talk, the pressure to look engaged, or trying to work out what someone means when they haven’t quite said it directly. Then there are all the little things that take energy too: switching between tasks, keeping track of lots of details, getting started when you just can’t seem to get going, or trying to stay focused on something that no longer feels interesting.

For some neurodivergent people, these everyday demands can add up over time, especially when the way they’re expected to work doesn’t feel like a good fit for them (Koldas et al., 2025; Thorpe et al., 2024).

When work itself isn’t the hardest part

Sometimes the work itself isn’t even the hardest part. It can be everything around it: trying to find your place in a team, knowing when to join a conversation and when to step back, or working out whether someone is joking or being serious.

There can be an unspoken expectation to make small talk, network and join in, even when you’d much rather be somewhere else. And while everyone else can seem to know the unwritten rules of the workplace, you might find yourself constantly trying to figure out what they are and whether you’re getting them right.

You might come home wondering whether you said the wrong thing in a meeting, whether that email sounded rude, or why a colleague suddenly seemed distant. Perhaps you can manage all of this in the moment, but only because you’re putting so much thought and energy into it.

And then there is another question that can be harder to put into words: What if I don’t actually want to do this anymore?

Perhaps the job that once seemed right no longer feels right. Your interests have changed. Your priorities have shifted. You’re at a different stage of life.

An autism, ADHD or AuDHD diagnosis has given you a different way of understanding your working life, or maybe you’re starting to wonder whether there might be a way of working that leaves more room for the rest of your life.

If you’re looking for work, you might also find that the process doesn’t always feel straightforward. Applications, interviews and finding somewhere that feels like a good fit can all take a lot of energy, particularly when there are expectations and unwritten rules to navigate.

It can be helpful to think about what you need from work, what plays to your strengths, and what kind of environment allows you to feel comfortable and do your best.

When you can do the job but can’t keep doing it this way

Being capable of doing a job and being able to sustain it aren’t always the same thing. You might be good at what you do, meet your deadlines and get positive feedback, while still coming home drained from the effort of getting through the day.

Sometimes it’s not the work itself that takes the most energy, but everything that comes with it. The conversations, meetings, interruptions and having to keep up with what’s happening around you. Perhaps you enjoy the work but find yourself needing more time to recover, or you can manage everything while you’re there but find that you have little energy left afterwards.

If neurodiversity comes into play, things like social expectations, masking or adapting to your surroundings can add to the effort of getting through the day. Switching between tasks, keeping track of everything and getting started can sometimes take energy too.

Research has highlighted the extra effort neurodivergent people can experience at work, from masking and navigating social expectations to managing planning, organisation and competing demands (Pryke-Hobbes et al., 2023; Högstedt et al., 2023).

None of this means you can’t do the job. Sometimes it’s simply that the way you’re doing it takes more out of you than people might realise. It can be the accumulation of lots of small demands, day after day.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you need a completely different career. Sometimes a different way of working can make a real difference, whether that’s fewer interruptions, more flexibility, a quieter environment or more control over how you work. You might love what you do but find constant customer contact tiring, or enjoy working independently while still wanting a small team around you.

Sometimes the question isn’t whether you can do the job, but whether the way you’re having to do it is working for you. Having a space to explore what you need can sometimes help you understand what might make work feel more manageable and sustainable.

When work leaves little energy for the rest of your life

Sometimes the clearest sign that something isn’t going well is what happens after work.

You get home and have very little energy left for the rest of the evening. Preparing food, washing up, keeping on top of things at home, replying to messages, seeing family or friends, or doing something for yourself can all feel like too much. Perhaps the weekend becomes more about recovering than having the energy to do the things you’d like to do.

This can be particularly difficult when you’ve spent years thinking that this is simply what adult life is supposed to feel like.

Life transitions can change what we need from work, too. Changes in relationships, becoming a parent, caring for someone, or simply finding ourselves at a different stage of life can all affect how much energy we have for work and everything else (Koldas et al., 2025).

You might start wondering whether you need to become better at coping, or whether something about the way you’re working needs to change.

For some people, that might mean fewer hours, more flexibility or a different environment. For others, it might mean understanding why certain parts of work take so much energy, setting different boundaries, or questioning whether the job still fits.

And sometimes a diagnosis of autism, ADHD or AuDHD, or another form of neurodivergence, can change how you understand your working life. Things that once felt confusing, difficult or hard to explain may start to make more sense when you look at them from a new perspective.

Finding a way of working that fits

There isn’t one right way to work, and what suits you can change over time. Perhaps you find yourself wanting more connection than you used to, or needing more quiet and time to yourself than before.

Maybe progression and responsibility still matter to you, while having enough energy for life outside work has become more important too.

Or perhaps you’re looking for work and finding applications, interviews and unfamiliar workplace expectations harder than you expected.

You might not know yet whether you want to stay where you are, change how you work, reduce your hours or do something completely different. You don’t have to have the answer straight away.

How counselling can help

Counselling can be a space to make sense of what’s been happening and what might help. That might include burnout, confidence, perfectionism, workplace relationships, changes or transitions in your working life, questions about progression, or finding a balance between work and the rest of your life. You might also be wondering whether ADHD, autism or AuDHD could help make sense of some of your experiences.

Having a space to talk openly about these things can be helpful, particularly when you’ve spent a long time trying to understand how to fit in or keep everything going. We can explore what matters to you, how you experience work and relationships, and what you would like your life to make room for.

Sometimes it’s not about becoming better at fitting yourself into a way of working that leaves you exhausted. You might be wondering why work feels harder than it used to, what you need in order to feel more comfortable and supported, or how to make room for both your work and the rest of your life. You may still want to progress in your career, or you may be questioning what you want from work altogether.

Counselling can offer a chance to explore these things and make more sense of your experiences.

If any of this feels familiar and you’d like to talk, you’re very welcome to get in touch.

References

Katrin Kemmerzehl
I’m a qualified counsellor based in Newcastle upon Tyne.
Please get in touch if you’d like to arrange a consultation.

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